Published: 17 November 2022
For many the festive period is a joyous occurrence charecterised by much elation and cheer, made more wholesome by the company of their loved ones. For some people however, the notion of adhering to social commitments such as Christmas parties can be an unnerving or even an upsetting experience.
While you may typically respond to social gatherings by avoiding them, when it comes to Christmas parties, it can be harder to get away.
As a result, now you’ve spent the past few days feeling anxious and you can’t feel anything but dread for the upcoming events.
We help many people with social anxiety and we know the kind of toll it can take. We have also helped them overcome it.
Here are some ways to reduce your anxiety in social situations and rise above it.
TIPS TO REDUCE YOUR SOCIAL ANXIETY AT CHRISTMAS PARTIES
TIP 1: Actually Go & Avoid Safety Behaviors.
The festive season is actually an excellent time for you to overcome your fear being around other people. You are not going to reduce your anxiety (and in fact make it worse) if you constantly avoid these parties.
By regularly attending them you are not only weakening the anxiety, but you are in fact becoming a braver person because you are actively confronting your fears.
You may be obliged to rely on certain habits, such as standing near the exit, taking some liquid courage beforehand, latching on to a certain friend or even priming people in advance that you will be feeling anxious.
These actions are known as ‘safety behaviours’ and they serve to actually undermine to process of overcoming your fear.
TIP 2: Accept your discomfort and give yourself permission to feel this way.
When you are at the party, you may start noticing your body temperature getting warmer, you’re breathing becoming more rapid and your palms getting sweaty.
These are very common symptoms of anxiety that everyone experiences. Remember that you won’t be the only person at the event that will be feeling this way.
It is okay for you to feel uncomfortable and there is no need for you to feel ashamed or be hard on yourself. If you give yourself permission to feel this way, and the discomfort then does turn up, it won’t be as significant.
TIP 3: Think Realistically
Given people react so differently leading up to such a social event, it is likely to presume that what you are telling yourself may in fact cause the anxiety.
You may be thinking for instance “I will make a fool of myself” or “Nobody will talk to me” or even “It is going to be terrible.” So ask yourself instead “How many people there do I know have talked to me in the past? How many times have I attended a party and I didn’t do something embarrassing?”
TIP 4: Give yourself a break
If you feel like it is getting too much, have a backup plan. Considering taking a friend outside and having a chat.
Alternatively find somewhere quiet and do the following:
- Sit down somewhere in a comfortable position.
- Place one hand on your chest and the other on your belly.
- Breathe in from your nose slowly for 4 seconds. Hold your breath for 2 seconds and breathe out from your mouth for 6 seconds.
- Pay close attention as you breathe to your stomach and rising and falling. The hand on your belly should be moving to a greater degree.
- Do this for about 4 minutes.
WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?
If your still feeling anxious, talk to your GP about whether they can recommend a psychologist who can help you overcome your social anxiety and to help you feel more confident in social situations.